Digital Brainwaves

Two hours of tripe followed by a few minutes of actual contest-related content… THIS… is American Idol!

• Ryan’s only in a suit, I almost expected a tux.
• 97.5 MILLION votes entered, shattering a show record by over 23 million.
• Margin of victory was 56%-44%. (”Even Ruben got some!”)
• Former Idol contestant Mikalah Gordon checks in from Kansas City, while Matt Rogers reports from Salt Lake City.
• The top 12 perform “Get Ready” with the stars of “So You Think You Can Dance?”
• David Cook and David Archuleta perform “Hero” (as performed by Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott for the movie “Spider-Man”). Count this with the singles I’d buy, were it released.
• Ryan makes reference to the superstars meeting with “Guru Pitka”… tying in to the upcoming Mike Myers movie “The Love Guru.” Kinda weak…
• Myers appears on stage in character, predicting that the winner will be a U.S. citizen between 16-28 years of age named David, and that Pitka will shamelessly promote the new movie.
• Syesha Mercado performs “Waiting For You,” featuring Seal.
• Jason Castro sings “Hallelujah,” probably the best song he did all season.
• Ford music video: “Let the Good Times Roll”
• A NEW CAR! A NEW CAR! Two new Ford Escape Hybrids await the Davids outside the theater.
• Donna Summer songs for the top six women: “She Works Hard For the Money” and “Hot Stuff,” with Summer herself performing her new single, “Stamp Your Feet,” along with her classic “Last Dance”
• Damn, Seacrest got some moves…
• Promo for the upcoming second season of “The Moment of Truth,” which starts next Tuesday.
• An interesting arrangement of “The Letter” is performed two “shock departures” from this season, Carly Smithson and Michael johns.
• The season is recapped by an “avid fan” who is brave enough to note that Simon “has nipples the size of pepper mills,” Jimmy Kimmel.
• “I valet parked outside… how much should I tip Sanjaya?”
• “Paula sees the positives no one else sees… and sometimes the performances no one else sees…”
• Montage of Simon’s disparaging remarks to music…
• Top six men perform Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ‘69″ and “Heaven,” and Adams comes to the stage to perform his new single “I Thought I’d Seen Everything” along with “Somebody Like You.”
• Commercial for WALL•E (:-D!!! I soooooo need to see this!)
• Jordin Sparks promotes The American Idol Experience, opening soon in Disney’s Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World, Orlando.
• David Cook and ZZ Top perform “Sharp Dressed Man.”
• Mikalah Gordon reports from Kansas City with Cook’s music teacher from last week.
• Brooke White and Graham Nash perform “Teach Your Children Well”
• WOW… didn’t see that commercial coming. That looked like David Cook playing “Old Time Rock & Roll” on Guitar Hero… in a button-down shirt and briefs, mimicking Tom Cruise’s performance in Risky Business!
  
  • (Note: I forgot to blog it at first, and now I don’t remember where it came in during the program, but David Archuleta did a similar commercial later on in the show. I didn’t think it was as good — I thought Cook’s version looked more like the original movie scene. Besides, did Archuleta use a guitar once this season? It’s more believable on Cook.)
• The Jonas Brothers perform “SOS.”
• Ryan talks to Pat from the audience as he introduces a video of the worst auditions this season.
• Oh noes… Renaldo “I am your brother, your best friend forever” Lapuz performs on stage. *headdesk* Make it stop…
• The USC Trojan Marching band? Really???????
• Oh, and now Randy and Paula are encouraging him… good grief. That’s 3 minutes of my life I will not get back.
• OneRepublic performs “Apologize,” featuring David Archuleta.
• Matt Rogers checks in from Salt Lake City with Archuleta’s grandparents.
• Jordin Sparks sings “One Step At a Time.”
• 1972 footage of Pips auditions for Gladys Knight? Hardly — that’s Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey, Jr.
• Carrie Underwood performs “Last Name.”
• Promo for JJ Abram’s new series, “Fringe,” coming this fall. I’m intrigued.
• The top twelve perform one more time before the results, singing George Michael’s “Faith,” “Father Figure” and “Freedom.” Michael comes to the stage to sing “Praying For Time.”
• New Idol, NEXT!
• David and David are at center stage. I’m still hoping Cook pulls it out, after all the gushing praise that Archuleta got last night…
• Ooo… Simon says he watched it back and found it not as clear-cut as he’d initially thought. He apologized to David Cook for perhaps having disrespected him the night before. “I don’t care who wins, you both were great.” Some hope for Mr Cook?
• This year’s American Idol is…
• DAVID COOK!

I don’t know if anything else happened at this point, the DVR cut out because the program ran long. Maybe I’ll see a replay of the announcement sometime soon. Congratulations to David Cook and all of the American Idol finalists. Show returns in January… hopefully I’ll have something to blog between now and then!