Top 12 Perks of Being a NASCAR Driver
Sep 12, 2008 In The News, Motorsports, Teh Funny, That's Hot
Via Jayski, ESPN reports on David Letterman’s Top Ten list becoming a Top Twelve for a night, with NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series Chase for the Championship drivers telling of the
top 12 perks of being a NASCAR driver:
- No. 12 — Matt Kenseth: “Crazy gas prices? I don’t care; I’m not payin’.”
- No. 11 — Kevin Harvick: “Bring your helmet to Taco Bell and they’ll fill it up with guacamole, free.”
- No. 10 — Jeff Gordon: “Don’t have to shave your body like Olympic swimmers … although, why not?”
- No. 9 — Greg Biffle: “Hasselhoff promised me one of those talking cars.”
- No. 8 — Tony Stewart: “I use old checkered flags to make fabulous throw pillows.”
- No. 7 — Jeff Burton: “There’s nothing like going through a car wash at 190 miles per hour.”
- No. 6 — Denny Hamlin: “GPS underpants.”
- No. 5 — Clint Bowyer: “Sorry, I forgot my joke — I was thinking about Jessica Alba — man, she’s hot.”
- No. 4 — Dale Earnhardt Jr.: “Run out of olive oil? A little Quaker State will spruce up any salad.”
- No. 3 — Jimmie Johnson: “Traveling to exotic locations like Martinsville, Virginia, and Dover, Delaware.”
- No. 2 — Carl Edwards: “At high school reunions, it’s fun to ask, ‘So what do you do for a living?’ “
- And the No. 1 perk of being a NASCAR driver — Kyle Busch: “After a race, your ass vibrates for days.”
